Past loves are always the hardest to fight. Take 30 seconds to remember. Once you hit zero just let go…
30-I slowly close my eyes.
29-keeping your fingers lace with mine, the warmth of my other hand around the mug.
28-I breathed deeply, smelling your superfruit damp curls as you lay across my lap just like every morning.
27-you whispers, half to yourself, half to past memories. But to me entirely.
26-everything seems easy, we don’t have to try too hard.
25-there are always flowers, daisies because those are my favorite.
24-home cooked meals; good food and wine.
23-You don’t love much. You don’t love the gentleness. But you somehow love me.
22-I feel like the luckiest girl there was.
21-work seems to grow around you.
20-our lazy morning coffee seemed to fade along with home cooked meals. You too busy and me tired of waiting.
19-you crawled in bed later each night.
18-vodka became your drink of choice even on a good day.
17-dark nights turned into something I began to fear.
16-the pull of the sheets.
15-the liquor on my neck.
14-The coldness of your hand upon my sides.
12-I tried to leave.
11-“I need you” and the feeling of that kiss that I longed for got me to stay.
10-The recklessness of your words and hands during the night.
9-the days I escaped were days cherished the most.
8-the bruises that matched the night showed through the sunshine.
7-Doubt within me controlled my thoughts
6-One drink too many, passing out on the bed, I left
5-the sound of your voice haunted my voicemails.
4-i fell hard
3-I began to rebuild
2-trust comes hard and love is a distant memory
1-nightmare creep through the shadows but
0-I manage to open my eyes.
My work will always depict real life situations. Mostly things that I, myself, have experienced. Being a victim of domestic violence will never be the victims fault even if they stay. 1 in 3 women and 1 in4 men have been victims of physical violence by an intimate partner within their lifetime. If you are reading this and no someone in any abusive situation help. Sometimes all it takes is a listening ear to make a difference.
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255